Just Keep Swimming

I'm rather down this week, for the third day in a row.  It started Friday morning, when I noticed the date, that it was the would-be 68th birthday of my Mom, whom I dearly miss, especially now.  I had a big piece of chocolate cheesecake and a large chocolate bar that day, but they didn't seem to help.  I have been getting a lot of sleep, and I keep exercising; today I ran three miles.  For some reason, however, that sadness monster keeps creeping in and it's very difficult to stay focused on much.  I have been writing a lot, and reading the important continuing education coursework to renew my Realtor's license, but after an hour or so, the words begin to blur and I have to reread and then finally just quit for a bit.  It feels good to get 100% on every quiz as I move through it, or to make progress on my fourth book, and I need to focus on these little triumphs, trusting that I will get my oomph back soon.  I think I'm feeling sorry for myself right now, and I hope that's okay.  This monster is very hard to fight sometimes, and I don't believe in medication for it, but that's not to say it isn't tempting sometimes.  We will see how things go.  I dearly miss my family, and tears begin to fall down my face if I start to dwell upon these things I cannot change.  This helps me though, the honesty, and the hope that I can instill strength in others.  Just keep wading the heavy waters.  This too shall pass, and we will be healthier and better for the work we put in.  Even if loved ones are no longer with us, they are in a sense.  For example, I know I have my Dad's heart of a lion, my Mom's vast intelligence, and my brother's sense of humor.  My kids are amazing, so charming and wonderful, and so much like the family with which I grew up.  So I am too :)  Just keep swimming people, and smile a lot, because you are never alone.  You are part of a great and beautiful universe.  Look up and see.